Soccer is for Librls!

While kids in other countries scour the streets in search of round-ish objects to kick around, here soccer has never caught on. Maybe because it has a strange name here. Or maybe it's never been pushed by the media because it's not very advertiser-friendly. Or maybe because it will always feel like an exported pastime, unlike baseball or American football or NBA (with has its own rules). Or maybe because the pursuit of happiness does not have room for a 0-0 tie.

Or maybe, as the geniuses of Free Republic know so well, football/soccer has never caught on here because it's a Liberal sport! Or even a Socialist one!

we actually like to have winners and losers and not have our games end in a draw, unlike crybaby socialist losers...

A third world game that shouldn’t be allowed to be played in this country!

I have long thought that soccer was the perfect liberal sport.
Its non-violent, international and boring.

Soccer - brings to mind a lot of skinny, repulsive Obamas running in the field.
Accompanied by union thugs in the stands waiting to riot.
Which is why I wouldn’t willingly watch a soccer match.
Ever.

Of course, if he's FORCED to watch a game, he would. But he won't like it! Oh, and soccer is not just Librl. It's also gay:

FIFA? . . . Suffering from dildonic plague, the lot of them. 

stupid soccer fags...

But... That's not enough. I need to connect the dots... Of course, I can expect the greatest minds of our generation to come up with a great unifying theory of why other countries like soccer. It's because they hate wars! Which is the reason there's never been a war in Europe!

Soccer to them is basically a “war replacement” competition. They have neither the strength, economic nor intellectual means to compete with us or among themselves on the battlefield and use soccer as a replacement. The game is played out on field, they simply kill each other in the stands, usually in fairly large numbers compared to “American sports”.